Till my mid-20s, I neglected self-care and wore it as a badge of pride. And by self-care, I don’t mean skincare; I mean ignoring my mental and physical health and laughing at the wrong things because I didn’t want to offend anyone. In the process, neglecting myself became a personality trait. Reels about being broke? They were relatable content. Being late? Just my vibe. Cancelling on my own dreams? Adorable, because I sacrificed. And for a while, all of it worked. People laughed. I laughed. We all laughed together.Then, somewhere between 28 and 31, the jokes started to land differently. Not because I lost my sense of humour, but because I finally started respecting the person being made fun of. Me.
Here are 8 things that used to feel funny and now feel like patterns worth breaking.
1. Acting Broke As A Joke
I’m not sure why, as an adult, I treated being financially broke as a joke. It might seem harmless. But financial instability isn’t a personality. It’s a problem. And once you start treating your money with the same seriousness you’d give your health, the whole “lol I have $10 till Friday” routine stops being cute and starts feeling like avoidance.
2. Tolerating Fake People
People around you are not background noise. They’re an active part of how you feel every single day. People you talk to, the social media content you consume, the influencers you follow, and the friends you lean on — they all shape your thoughts. My circle of friends and family has shrunk over the years, and I left the rooms I didn’t belong to. My current circle of people lifts me and feels essential for my growth.
3. Being Late To Everything
Chronic lateness used to wear the costume of spontaneity. It doesn’t anymore. Showing up late, especially repeatedly, is a quiet way of telling people their time matters less than your comfort. And once you understand that your own time is worth protecting, you stop wanting to waste anyone else’s, either.
4. Using “I’m Just Lazy” as a Badge of Honour
Rest is sacred. Laziness is different. I was in a whole era where being unbothered and glued to a couch felt like a flex. But my body kept score. The knees started to notice. The energy levels started to answer back. And so I took charge of my health. I didn’t do it the influencer way — focused on waist size and protein goals. But the Indian way — working out and leaning on traditional foods. It’s the foundation everything else is built on.
5. Ignoring Your Mental Health
I’ve quietly removed people from my life, not out of anger, but because their presence left me more depleted than before I saw them. Of course, my self-care was labelled as “drama” at times. But my stance was clear: “If this person costs me my mental peace, it is too much, and I’m not willing to keep paying.”
6. Saying “Yes” to Everything & Everyone
I did it for the longest time! Till I stopped. One realisation — you cannot pour yourself into every group chat, every favour, every emotional emergency that isn’t yours to carry. Boundaries used to sound cold. Now they sound like oxygen. The people who matter will understand. The ones who push back at the word “no” are usually the exact reason you needed to say it.
7. Drama & Gossip as Entertainment
There’s a version of your social life that runs entirely on other people’s chaos — and it feels electric until it doesn’t. Gossip takes up mental space that could be better used for something more useful. Peace is boring in the best possible way. Once you taste actual quiet, the noise stops being appealing.
8. Procrastinating Your Goals
“Later” is not a timeline. The thing about your 30s is that “later” starts arriving. The degree you were going to get, the business you were going to start, the trip you were going to take — time doesn’t slow down and wait for you to feel ready. Procrastination in your twenties feels like flexibility. In your thirties, it starts to feel like grief.
None of this is about becoming serious or losing the lightness that makes life livable. It’s about knowing which version of yourself is the one being laughed at. Making sure it’s not always at your own expense.
Self-respect isn’t a destination you arrive at. It’s a series of small choices you make, often quietly, often without applause. But the cumulative effect is a life that actually fits.